Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
