what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
