that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
this boner is exhausting
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Randomize
