discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
