You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Randomize
