i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
