Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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