Yo dont text me then not text me
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
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