You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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