Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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