i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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