U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
