Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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