I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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