All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize