Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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