That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
