i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Randomize
