She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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