I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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