no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
