You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
