On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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