PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I cannot find my penis.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
