she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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