She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Randomize
