He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
