I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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