You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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