Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Randomize
