when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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