i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
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