Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
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