I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
So much rum. So many feels.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Randomize
