Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
