how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
