note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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