Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Randomize
