Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
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