dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
