that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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