Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
