At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
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