what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
