He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
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