He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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