Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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