Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
that may or may not have been my penis.
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