We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
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