I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
of course. lets lasso hookers.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
