Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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